Growing up in the hyper-conservative place that I did, I was gifted at self-denial. I would not, under any circumstances accept that I was trans or pansexual. One of the major reasons I left home at seventeen was that I felt I was being held back by the conservatism, the religion, the culture, and the smallness of everything there. My family is largely small minded and would not be able to accept my gender or sexuality with any level of understanding, unfortunately.
Over the past few years of living in New York, I’ve become a tiny bit spoiled by the general, baseline level of acceptance and the amount of freedom I allowed myself. Remind me to never, ever take that for granted. However, right now, I’m on a train on my way to visit my family while they’re vacationing in D.C. Since I’m not out to them, I’ll have to shove my bright, fabulous, glorious self back into the closet.
Wish me luck.